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Just a one-off to tide y'all over till I get the next chapter of my other fic written.

Title: I Want It All But So Do You
Author: silly_cakes
Pairing: Gold star if you guess :P The pairing is the OTP for me
Rating: Well it’s not E, if you’re wondering
Genre: future!fic/angst/fluff
Disclaimer: None of them are mine...yet.
Notes: This was a weird idea I came up with today. Tell me what you guys think, yeah? *goes off and hides in corner*
Anthony looked at the invitation lying on his kitchen table and sighed. He wondered if he should go. He hasn’t even seen him for ages and he doesn’t know the girl.
            Carl and Gary were going, of course. Didz was going too. Hell, Peter and Drew were showing up as well. He knew he should go, but he didn’t think he could handle it.
            Seeing John up on the altar with someone who wasn’t him wasn’t Anthony’s idea of a good day.
            He picked up the invitation and ran his fingers over the gold border on the paper. He supposed the girl picked these; John never had any use for fancy shit like this.
            Just then, the phone rang. Anthony decided to ignore it. He waited for the 11 rings...then it stopped.
            The phone ringed again.
            And again.
            And one more time before Anthony got pissed off and picked up the phone.
            “Oh...hi John.”
            “Why are you calling?”
            “I wanted to see if you were coming...er...going to the wedding.”
            “Oh um...”
            “I want to see you there, Anthony.”
            “I’ll be there, don’t worry.”
            “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
            “Yeah. Bye.”
            And John hung up. Anthony listened to the other line for a few seconds, then hung up the phone.
            It was going to be a test of wills tomorrow, for sure. If he didn’t kill himself or start crying in the middle of the proceedings, it’ll be a miracle.
            John sat in the little room putting on his tuxedo and musing. He almost wished that Anthony had said that he didn’t want John to get married. Then he might have the guts to call this fiasco off.
            This was all a lie. All of it. The suit, the flowers, the church, everything he’s ever said to his girlfriend was all part of a big lie.
            And the reason for the lie was because John was too afraid to tell Anthony how he felt about him
            He remembered when he first met Anthony a few years ago. Carl had shown up at practice one day with a tall, skinny, black haired boy who was filled with a nervous sort of energy. Certainly not someone he felt comfortable being around.
            But he and Anthony started spending a lot of time together, with Carl being depressed and Gary doing his own thing.
            So when Pete got out of jail and Anthony went back to America, John was more than a little disappointed.
            When they were in the studio recording the second album, John sat by himself, looking at Pete and Carl, getting more irritated with them by the minute. They were only ever concerned with themselves, but were under the guise that what they were doing was for each other. And it was times like these that John wished desperately that Anthony was around. He was the only one who’d ever listened to him; who didn’t dismiss him as just some quiet boring bass player.
            But when Pete was kicked out of the band for good and they had Anthony to fill in for him again, John was ecstatic. He didn’t show it of course, but being around Anthony was more fun than being around Pete, or Carl, or even Gary.
            Their first time was an accident, really. John hadn’t intended to get into Anthony’s bed when he touched those curls he’d been admiring silently for ages. He’d blushed and pulled back, an apology on his lips. But all Anthony did was grab John by the back of the neck and kissed him roughly, drawing blood from his lips.
            It was awkward, definitely. John knew that he was hurting Anthony, as he judged from the whimpers muffled into John’s neck. However, when Anthony relaxed his muscles and they started moving together frantically, it was lovely. Anthony had said so, after they’d finished, despite the blood on the sheets and his legs and the winces whenever he shifted his body.
            They’d had sex quite a few times after that, under the pretence that it was nothing; that they were just fooling around. John never told Anthony that he was in love with him; he couldn’t. He saw what happened to all those girls Anthony slept with. Anthony hadn’t had a relationship with anyone in all the years John had known him. Besides, the idea that Anthony would feel the same way seemed ludicrous; John was socially awkward and he could barely hold a conversation with anyone. Anthony on the other hand was charming and extroverted; he always had a group of people around him.
            So, John decided that he should move on. It was about the time that Carl dissolved what little was left of the Libertines. Anthony went home again, leaving with a “I’ll see you round, okay?” and he was gone. John met a girl and they started dating.
            The only problem was that, despite how nice and pretty and smart she was, he didn’t love her. He liked her, of course, but she was so bland. She had no depth to her. And she wasn’t Anthony.
            It was a mistake, when he proposed to her. But not a mistake like his first time with Anthony was a mistake. This mistake made him want to kill himself. She had started talking about weddings and stuff for a month beforehand, and John thought she’d leave him. And the way he thought about it was that it was better to spend the rest of your life with someone you only like, not love, then to be single and lonely. So, he bought a ring and asked her. She said yes, obviously, and here he was.
            A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.
            “Need to talk to you.”
            Odd; it was Drew.
            “Uh, alright, come in.”
            Drew opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind him quietly.
            “Things are gonna be taking off here in a few minutes, John.”
            “Yeah. Thanks.”
            Drew sat down beside him.
            “What is it?”
            “I...I don’t think I can go through with this Drew.”
            “Aw come on, it’s just cold feet.”
            “No, I’m serious. I just don’t think I...love her.”
            “Then why did you propose?”
            “I don’t know. It was a mistake.”
            “That’s a pretty damn big mistake to make, man.”
            “I know.”
            “So...what you gonna do?”
            “Not sure.”
            “Gotta make up your mind quick.”
            “D’you know Anthony?”
            “Who, Rossomando? Yeah, course.”
            “Is he here?”
            “Don’t think so, I didn’t see him. Why?”
            “He said he’d show up.”
            “Maybe he’s just late.”
            “Yeah, maybe.”
            Anthony was outside across the street from the church, sitting in his car and sobbing quietly. He couldn’t go in there. He knew that he’d never survive it.
            John would be angry, yes, but he’d be even angrier if Anthony came in there, upset and raining on his parade.
            None of this might have happened if Anthony had just told John how he felt years ago.
            Anthony took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. He needed to tell John; he didn’t care what would happen but if he didn’t and he knew that he could have changed the inevitable then he would never forgive himself.
            He opened the door and got out of the car, and started to cross the street.
            John had looked out the window at saw Anthony across the street.
            Seeing him there for the first time in months, he knew that he couldn’t walk down that aisle.
            Just then, Drew came back.
            “Well, you goin’ out there?”
            “Drew, tell them I’m sorry.”
            “I’m leaving. Anthony’s here.”
            “I’m confused.”
            “Just...never mind. Will you tell them?”
            “Yeah, I will. What’s going on though?
            “Thanks, bye.”
            And with that, John left out the other door, taking off his suit jacket and tie and dumping it into the bin.
            Running outside, he came face to face with Anthony who was just about to go inside the church.
            “Um, hi. Sorry I’m late.”
            John didn’t answer, or at least not with words. He grabbed the lapels of Anthony’s jacket and kissed him.
            “D’you have your car here?” John murmured.
            “Yeah,” Anthony replied.
            “Let’s go.”
            “What? What about—”
            “Don’t want any of that, in there. Or at least not with her.”
            “Thank you,” said John. They were lying in Anthony’s dark room, sharing a post-coital cigarette.
            “Showing up today. I probably would have gone through with that debacle if you hadn’t.”
            “I almost didn’t.”
            “Didn’t think I could watch.”
            “Then why did you show up?”
            “I told you I’d be there, didn’t I?”
            “Yeah, you did.”
            Anthony leaned over John and stubbed out the cigarette on the ashtray.
            “Did you tell anyone you were leaving?”
            “Yeah, I told Drew. He didn’t seem to understand what was going on though.”
            Anthony laughed.
            “Can’t say I’m surprised. He probably had a few before it started. He is Irish, after all.”
            Anthony laid down and turned over, and John wrapped an arm around his stomach.
            After a few minutes, Anthony’s breathing evened, and John figured he was asleep. But he had to tell him something before he drifted off.
            “I love you.”
            “Yeah...love you too.”



Stephen Colbert and Kim Jong Il!
Death is only a state of mind

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